okay, storytime. At a group sleepover, there’s this girl, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? She nods off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, my friend leans back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.
My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. The girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, “Go on, Brandon. You can jump. It’s only 30 stories.”
my dad talks and swears A LOT in his sleep but i’ll always remember “he jumped out the fucking window, i fucking swear!”